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Joke of the Day

"I don't like referencing not et al."

"What kind of music do cows listen to? (dadjoke) MOOOOOsic."

"How Do Rednecks Celebrate Halloween? They Pump Kin."

"I got caught masturbating by the fedex guy I shouldn't have answered the door, but you gotta sign for that shit or wait til he comes again."

"Hear about the paranoid guy who stopped using twitter? He said everyone was following him."

"Overweight is something that just sort of snacks up on you."

"A brightly-colored van drives slowly down our street. Kids gather excitedly. It is the Edible Arrangements truck. We are all betrayed."

"For me, eating fast food is like going out on a date and finding out the person you're with is racist. Either way, you're going to end up alone in your apartment using up all the toilet paper."

"I clicked on an ad for horny single women in my area and got a virus... It was chlamydia."

"How long does 8 sleep for? Forever."