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Joke of the Day

"The difference between ""she's jogging & healthy"" vs ""she's in danger & I should help"" is headphones."

"My drug dealer gave me new shoes today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"I had a wooden whistle... And it wooden whistle. So, I got a steel whistle and it steel wooden whistle. Finally I got a tin whistle, now I tin whistle."

"A man comes into a bar... Wait, it was a horse. A man comes into a horse."

"Yo mama is so easy even a caveman could do her."

"Have you heard about the guy who finally overcame his coprophilia? He got off scat-free"

"I was in a bar with my wife, and a girl tried to pick us up. She succeeded, but almost immediately we were back on the floor. We like it there."

"What's the difference between a person with a forehead and a fivehead? A sixth sense"

"How many cats does it take for a woman to qualify as a ""crazy cat lady?"" None. Just a couple of youtube cat videos."

"Do seagulls ever wake up in the morning and take a moment to gather their thoughts, or do they just go straight into seagull stuff?"