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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump has banned shredded cheese. He's going to make America grate again."

"I grew up in a very sheltered household. Our house had 17 roofs. We had alcoves upon alcoves. I wore a tarp wherever I went."

"Everything is made in China Except babies. They're made in va-chinas"

"Sorry that I took a picture of my armpit and tried to pass it off as my thigh gap."

"[warning racist] wanna hear a dark joke? africas population"

"A woman caught her husband on the weight scale, sucking in his stomach. ""That won't help you, Joe, you know?"" ""Oh it helps a lot,"" says the man, ""it's the only way I can see the numbers!"""

"Did you know Helen Keller lived in a haunted house? Neither did she."

"Think of a good penis joke! Wait, I have a good one right on the tip of my tongue!"

"Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster."

"*Robocop smashes tail light* Uh oh, that's a citation *He drops a bag of weed* Damn that's 20 years *Robohippie starts to sweat*"