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Joke of the Day

"Yelling at me for warming towels in the oven is not going to get the fire department here any faster."

"What do you call a man with news paper down his pants Russel"

"Why do fencers make terrible Redditors? They always riposte. ^^^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^^is ^^^^^^^^a ^^^^^^^^riposte ^^^^^^^^too"

"I'm going to spoil your life You die in the end"

"I am holding a pre-mature ejaculation club meeting next week Needless to say, You need to come early"

"If I won $900,000,000, I'd give a quarter of it to Charity... She's a talented dancer and says she needs money for school."

"Make sure to change out the condom in your wallet once in a while...so your wallet doesn't think you're a loser."

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because very few of them know how to dance."

"What do you call a rude criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Nobody has 3 cats. You either have 1 or 2, but from there you leap directly to 17."