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Joke of the Day

"Cigarette: Hey buddy. Me: I don't smoke anymore. Cigarette: But buddy. Me: NO. Cigarette: Buddy? Me: You do make a good point. Fine."

"Why didn't the Irishman add another bean? He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent."

"what do goats and humans have in common? Their kids are nice and tender."

"Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, Water gets chuck norrised"

"What did Donald Duck say to Goofy? I Fucked your Dad !! Lol !!"

"I Am So Depressed. I Think Suicide Is The Only Answer. If my bitch ex-wife would just commit suicide my life would be so much better."

"Having friends is... Like peeing your pants, every one can see it, but only you can feel the warmth."

"Can't call it a real relationship if you feel single."

"Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo."

"What does a tree do when it wants to go home? It leaves."