122489

Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? (Most people respond, ""Arrr!"") That's what I thought too, but it turns out their hearts belong to the 'C'."

"There is a bomb going to explode in 3...2...1... Holy shit, this blew up!"

"I wanted to make a ""two drums and a cymbal fall off of a cliff"" joke, but um... ...tsh."

"People ask me what's my favorite vegetable. Apparently Stephen Hawking is a bad answer."

"[interview] What is your greatest strength? ""Throwing my voice"" You're hired! ""Ok great, thanks"" Wait I didn't say- oh wow you're good"

"""Nice"" - first kangaroo to realise it had a pocket"

"Just bought a 2013 calender, a rope and a stool. I like to keep the store clerk guessing."

"My dad died in Auschwitz He was crushed by a man falling out of a guard tower."

"HUNDRED DOLLAR IDEA: Go to an ATM. Withdraw $100."

"What medical condition are Clinton supporters currently experiencing? Tendienitis"