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Joke of the Day
"Ke$ha is what would happen if Comic Sans came to life."
Next Joke
"What is green and pecks on trees ? Woody Wood Pickle !"
"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. WHOA. WHOA. Whoa. WHOA! WHOOOOOOOOOA! This horse is an idiot."
"What time does an engineer set his alarm clock for? Around Thevenin the morning"
"I like my men how I like my cheesecake, rich and straight to my behind."
"Why is a sinking ship like a person in jail? Because it needs bailing out."
"Wanna hear something ironic? Aliens abduct a fisherman"
"WIFE: You know Hogwarts isn't real? It's just part of series of fantasy novels. ME: *chasing an owl around my garden* WHATEVER MUGGLE!!!"
"There was this cute girl next to me and I missed a lot of obvious signals... We both ended up dying from the car crash."
"I know we haven't talked in awhile but I've been thinking about us a lot and I was wondering if u remembered the name of that burrito place"