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Joke of the Day

"There was this cute girl next to me and I missed a lot of obvious signals... We both ended up dying from the car crash."

"MIL: You're going to give me a heart attack someday! M: Last time I checked you didn't even have a heart."

"Don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. Unless he wears Crocs. Then, feel free to judge all you want...."

"Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery. They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there."

"Something I hate When people older than 30 have sex with 18 year olds. It's like they want to be pedophiles but aren't ready to commit."

"Why don't blacks like Tylenol? They have to pick cotton to get to them."

"If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours."

"Bunnyprofessor"

"According to Verizon, the cable guy should be here sometime between 10:00 a.m. and the return of Christ."

"""Sorry, I have to take this call."" ""That's a banana. And it's half eaten."" *covers banana with hand ""I don't tell you how to do business."""