122017

Joke of the Day

"If you want to be a General Motors engineer, your memory needs to be perfect. You have to recall everything."

"Want to feel old? Tsar Simeon I of Bulgaria would be 1,150 years old today!"

"""The main thing about being a woman is trying to lock in moisture"" -TV"

"A guy named Shane can never date an Asian girl... ... Because then she would bring Shane to her family."

"How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night? Take away their beds..."

"I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time."

"Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll? Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!"

"What's the difference between racism and the chinese people? Racism has many faces..."

"What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ? Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny."

"I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down."