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Joke of the Day

"Why are Taco Tuesdays so hot? Because of the spicy anal you get that night."

"Some cultures fear that when someone takes your photograph they steal your soul. You should be fine, though."

"I was cornered in an alley way by a German holding a sausage I looked him straight in the eyes and bravely said ""go on, do your wurst"""

"There's a knock at my door. Jehovah's Witness. I decided to let him in. I go, ""Now what?"" He says, ""I dunno...I never got this far."""

"""I am not a human garbage disposal"" *eats leftover mac n cheese anyway* *makes terrible grinding noise after accidentally swallowing fork*"

"Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.. Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then. God, I love my new Taser..."

"My girlfriend agreed to give me a blowjob Oral consent"

"Why did the bear's magnetic personality make him so popular? He was a polar bear!"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? We better get some support soon or people will think we're nuts"

"Making my voice mail message say ""Just hang up and text me."""