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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend agreed to give me a blowjob Oral consent"
Next Joke
"How can you tell if you're being persecuted by agnostics? You come home to find a question mark burned into your lawn."
"My brother wants to tell our parents he's gay & I'm helping by singing ""The Son'll Come Out, Tomorrow"" whenever we're together."
"They used to be called ""Jumpolines"" ...until your mom jumped on one back in 1972."
"Nothing says you are ugly like Facebook asking ""Are you sure you want to make this your profile picture?"""
"Don't drink and drive, also don't call frozen yogurt ""fro yo."""
"Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!"
"Friday and Monday are twins, but Friday is the twin that likes to party and is always down to bone."
"Friend: [showing baby photos] Me: Ah yes, very baby"
"HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 1) Put a saddle on it 2) Get on 3) Oh god it's destroying the village with fire 4) WHY DIDN'T I GET A CAT INSTEAD?!"