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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !"

"Damn girl are you Jewish! Cuz these balls are matzoh."

"I'm not saying my wife's voice is annoying, but right now I'm really jealous of deaf people."

"""Your honor, I call Shakira's hips to the stand"" *looks at the defense* ""You guys are so fucked"""

"Nothing ruins a Friday more... ...than realizing that today is Tuesday."

"my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like ""im here lol. from baby"""

"Why don't hipsters like fishing? It's too mainstream."

"*Knock Knock* ""Who's there?"" ""David"" ""David who?"" ""Dad you only have one son named David, please let me out of the basement now."""

"There's a new video game called Earthquake coming out. I heard it's groundbreaking."

"Why did George Lucas Cross The Road? To urinate on my childhood and sell it back to be on blu-ray for $80."