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Joke of the Day

"Scientists use dead bodies? Jesus, I know they're nerds but they should still be able to make living friends."

"An old couple were in church the other morning and the old lady said to the old man ""I've just broken wind silently, what will I do?"" He said, ""First thing is get new batteries for your hearing aid""."

"What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine."

"I told my wife she shops too much, but she wouldn't listen. She's so damn clothes-minded"

"An Australian man living by the cliff has prevent over 150 suicides, during the 50 years he has lived there... ... by shooting them himself."

"How does a black woman fight crime? By having an abortion"

"My father's such a condescending man ... Since he died he's always looked down on me."

"What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click"

"Did you know that beer contains female hormones? It's true. You drink too much you get fat, get emotional, talk too much, cry, and you can't drive a car. All apologies to the fairer sex."

"What type of carpet do you put in an igloo? Burr-burr"