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Joke of the Day
"Never hide regular cocaine in your butt Charges will get elevated to possession of crack cocaine"
Next Joke
"Avoid sexist comments... Chicks hate that."
"if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree"
"Role playing didnt go so well last night. She was the hot sexy teacher and I the rebel student..so I ditched class. Cause schools for nerds."
"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? 3: a left ear, a right ear and a final frontier. (Courtesy of my dad)"
"[pet store] Me *looking at snakes* ""CAN I FEED THEM?"" Pet Store Employee [never looks up from his phone] sure. Me *putting my kids in tank*"
"I tried phone sex today I ended up with hearing aids"
"Him: ""I killed the spider for you. He suffered."" Me: ( slowly turns around in swivel chair) ""Splendid."""
"My mum always told me it's better out than in... But my uncle always told me that it's better in than out."
"Scared of eating genetically modified fruit? Grow a pear."