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Joke of the Day

"NSFW - What's the worst thing to hear.... What's the *worst* thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"Math jokes never work on me I have trouble differentiating them. They aren't an integral part of my life and most of the time they just don't add up."

"Dr: ... Me: ... D: ... M: ... D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum M: No *orange falls out onto floor* D: ... M: *mumbles* yes"

"What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen? Carlos."

"What you call a black priest? Holy shit."

"Your momma so dirty she serves more requests than HTTP"

"Kidnappers: We have your husband. Send us $10,000 if you ever want to see him again. Me: Where I should drop off his clothes?"

"What's a mathematicians worst nightmare? An EULer spill"

"We've run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops."

"If I had a shot of whiskey for every time I thought of you, I'd be sober."