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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between joghurt and America? If you leave joghurt alone for 200 years, it will grow a culture!"

"How do you make two Oboists play in tune with one another? Shoot one of them."

"Parenting Tip: Wear clothing with pockets so you can flip off your children inconspicuously."

"Swallow it dammit, it's good for you Your Pride"

"*adult mutant ninja turtles sit in the kitchen doing taxes* you guys wanna smoke a joint? ""were not teens anymore dude"" *donatello sobs*"

"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"

"Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job? What's so glamorous about cleaning up after horses?"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He sipped the coffee *before it was cool*."

"When you aren't sure what somebody said so you just smile and hope it wasn't a question."

"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Sorry, my cat walked on my keyboard and accidentally typed something Welsh."