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Joke of the Day
"I like to hold hands at the movies. Which always seems to startle strangers."
Next Joke
"Why do they call them ""country bumpkins""? Because in the country, you bump your kin!"
"I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it."
"There's always an Obama in relationships. The one that has to compromise, doesn't really get much credit, and never wins, no matter what."
"What do you call a smart blonde? A Golden Retriever"
"Why is your Girlfriend like KFC? Because after you're done eating you throw your bone in a greasy box."
"Fortune Teller I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl named Penny - is that spooky or what?"
"What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sandwich."
"What's the difference between Lebron James and a dollar (USD)... A dollar gives you four quarters :-)"
"We used to call a girl at work 'turtle.' When she's on her back she's fucked."