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Joke of the Day

"Fortune Teller I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night I fucked a girl named Penny - is that spooky or what?"

"What do you call a pig with three eyes? A PIIIG! (was told to me by a 11 yr old in my class =])"

"Customer: ""Do you sell a 'best of' Enya album here?"" Cashier: ""What do you want - a blank CD?"""

"QUESTION: Why should a honeymoon only be six days? ANSWER: Because seven days makes a whole week."

"Kayne West Knocked Up Kim Kardashian No punchline needed."

"Me: omg can smoking weed make u hallucinate? Dog making pancakes: lol that wasn't weed dude"

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"At my funeral, I want a homie to adjust my junk one last time. I'm not gonna rest peacefully if my balls are pinched between my legs."

"I told one of my coworkers who happens to be Mexican that he better hope Trump doesn't become president... Or else he'll be hiding out in his attic like Anne Frank."

"What's the final step before a sorority girl gets initiated? Basic Training"