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Joke of the Day

"Ey gurl, is your name Andromeda? Because you got a heavenly body! It's 5:50AM and I still can't sleep."

"What do you call four Mexicans stuck in quicksand? quattro sink-o"

"What is a group of Pedophiles called? A conclave!"

"[my first day as a financial investor] ""I'm going all in on this Acme Corporation. Anybody want a piece?"""

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke."

"How did Hitler like his juice? Concentrated"

"Here's a handy trick. When people are talking to you, nod and think about other stuff."

"David Attenborough voice ""Amazing. See how the youngest of the species always needs something when the mother is in the bathroom."""

"American nuclear response time is around four minutes. But eight minutes if you are using a cigar on a naked intern."

"Him: Going to Taco Bell, want anything? Me: I'm just thirsty Him: What do you want? Me: Six tacos and a burrito"