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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I poke my cat in the eye and he gets squinty, I feel bad and poke him in the other eye, so I can pretend he's just really high."

"Birthday present A little boy's parents asked what he wanted for his upcoming birthday. The boy thought about it and simply replied ""I wanna watch"" So they let him"

"You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan."

"Nothing is more dangerous than a woman ""gathering her thoughts""."

"You can say what you like about Paedophiles... ..at least they drive slowly in a school area."

"I hope Donald Trump becomes president. That way we can impeach him and all of USA can tell him ""you're fired""."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"

"You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked."

"How many women here think men are pigs? Let me see a show of tits."

"What do they call Peter Pan in China? Peter Wok"