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Joke of the Day

"Cop: you failed to obey the stop sign Me: I got lost in the music C: what song? M: I'd rather not say C: what song?!? M: I saw the sign"

"Before you judge somebody, you should walk a mile in their shoes.. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes."

"I picked up an upside down bag of candy and ate it all in one go. I just love W&W's."

"couple beside me in restaurant are on a blind date; they both love dogs, sushi, and looking at Tinder while the other one is in the restroom"

"There are now 4 sides to every story. Yours, mine, the truth & the Internets version."

"When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed My name, my address, my phone number"

"Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup. I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards."

"looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online... Heinz site's a wonderful thing"

"I hope Elon Musk never gets in a scandal Because Elongate would be really drawn out."

"Why is Robert Pattison so pale? There's no sunlight in the closet."