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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to convince this guy that 'jesus is the reason for the season' but loansharks have a different perspective"

"BBC NEWS: Government plans to ban all Internet porn. On an unrelated note, does anyone want to buy a laptop?"

"When an unattractive woman in a bar asks me my sign I tell her ""Stop."""

"I wrote a book about my car It was an auto-biography"

"Rule: If thou has a Macbook, thou shall always taketh photos of objects with the Macbook in the background."

"Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"My son, 5, scared of the thunder. I told him that was silly considering the sun could explode any day, killing us all. Think that helped."

"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you behind and never comes back."

"I don't like how funerals are usually at 9 or 10 AM. I'm not a mourning person. Edit: WHY THE HELL DID THIS MAKE THE JOKES FRONT PAGE"