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Joke of the Day

"Babies are like tattoos. They're yours forever and maybe wait a few days before posting pictures of them so they're not all gross looking."

"Does anyone know how to get make-up off a dog? Asking for a friend, she's a bitch."

"My professor asked me to give an example of a word whose definition got reversed. I literally had no answer."

"How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for his Birthday? He felt his presents."

"What do you call it when Batman skips church Christian Bale"

"Did you hear about the kleptomaniac who went to the theater the other day? He stole the show!"

"A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose."

"someone brought a box of lemons to work and emailed out saying ""there's lemons"" and now every one has a lemon on their desk. why"

"I guess if your a meth head You've only got one sleep until Christmas"

"People who only tweet inspirational stuff are the same people who reminded their school teacher about homework assignments."