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Joke of the Day
"What tasty food would be distusting if eaten over rice?"
Next Joke
"I've started writing crossword puzzles for a national newspaper. The money is not great but It's allowed me to buy a little two up two down house."
"Excercise adds years to your life... ... for example, I went jogging for 3 miles this morning, and I already feel like I am 65!"
"What are your thoughts on new soup technology? I say Progresso at any cost."
"My friend said her neighbors came into her restaurant for a book club, turns out it was for a BDSM club. . . I guess people bond over different things."
"I've got a sense of deja vu It seems like last year was only yesterday."
"What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it."
"""No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 18. ""No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!"" -lie you tell at 28."
"Me: 'I love you so much, I'll see you later beautiful' Girlfriend: 'I love you too' Me: *Looks up from patting dog* 'Yeah see you later'"
"An Asian Keanu enters a room. Asian Keanu got angry. Asian Keanu Reeves."