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Joke of the Day

"i did a lot of experimenting in my teen years. i knew that's what i'd have to do to become the caliber of scientist i am today"

"My toddler found a bottle of Axe body spray I got as a free sample, and now she's wearing a Tapout T-shirt and calling everyone ""bro."""

"Where the woman's neck ends the infinity begins."

"An American, a German, an Irishman and an Englishman are on a plane. I forgot to mention an Arab is also onboard... Kaboom."

"How do skeletons kiss? They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone."

"A grown man smelling like baby powder stood next to me today. My maternal instincts have never been so confused."

"My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name."

"Why was the Jolly Green Giant wrongly accused of being a pedophile? He'd been letting the kids use his dick for a bungee cord."

"""Haven't had to use my brakes in a few minutes. Better make sure they still work real quick."" -- everyone in front of you on the highway."

"Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun."