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Joke of the Day

"The police didn't believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet... They called the whole thing fabricated."

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"Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin... Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November."
"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming."
"A beautiful woman is like the perfect shot of vodka Transparent, ice cold, and utterly tasteless."
"Yo mama so fat.... pickup lines don't work on her."
"[interview] ""Describe yourself in three words."" Me: responds poorly to authority"
"The doctor recommended cutting back on alcohol for a better quality of life. Then he saw my wife who had come to pick me up! He said, ""You can consume all the drinks you want, it's healthy."""
"One injured in Greyhound rollover in Texas. But the rest of the puppies are fine."
"What Time Did Sean Connery Arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish"
"Jack and Jill went up a hill each with a buck and a quarter.. Jill came down with two fifty.. That fucking whore. ( The Dice Man )"
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