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Joke of the Day

"me: honey, I'm home! [shuts door] girlfriend: (from bedroom) oh yeah harder me: if you say so [slams door]"

"What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ? Anything you want as he can't hear you !"

"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only Never mind. Batman's here."

"Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements. They may cremate, they Mayberry"

"why do chickens cluck? ........ cause you can't say fuck with out a bottom lip."

"Tony the tiger has a sleeping problem. His teeth grate!"

"Your face... ...looks like it caught on fire and somebody tried to put it out with a hammer."

"Suprise me! I went to the pub last night and the barman asked what I wanted so I said ""suprise me"" He then showed me a naked picture of my girlfriend"

"Michael J. Fox got hit by a reversing truck. Don't worry he shook it off."

"What kind of person is sexually excited from looking at young animals? A PETAphile."