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Joke of the Day

"What do your mom and Jesus have in common? They both got nailed"

"Trump and Pence are so homophobic ... ... they couldn't get a mandate. HAHAHA! A lot of people are going to die in the next 4 years."

"Why is the moon so grumpy? It's just going through one of its phases."

"What's the difference between a thief who steals timepieces and a man at a strip club? One snatches watches and the other watches snatches."

"Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids? He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions."

"If you're going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I'm going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it."

"volcano (n.) [vol-key-noh] A mountain getting its rocks off."

"What is Madonna's least favourite band? Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly"

"*dinosaur at zoo roars at me* ""ROAR"" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this ""GROWL"" hmm ""SHOUT"" hmmm ""YELL"" hmmmmm ""HOLLER"" oh its a thesaurus"

"Napkins used after eating hot wings and then put in your pocket should NEVER be used as toilet paper no matter how much you've had to drink."