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Joke of the Day

"""There's nothing more beautiful than the birth of a child."" (someone who's never seen the birth of a child)"

"Million Dollar Idea: A pot pie. Only bigger. And filled instead with fruit. Apples perhaps."

"What do you call a caffeinated beverage that lasts forever? Infini-tea."

"I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets."

"What do dwarves and midgets have in common? Very little"

"I laughed too hard at this. What has a bottom at the top? A leg"

"I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work... Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her."

"Greeks lined up for ATM? Isn't that kinda their thing?"

"""No, no, I said I'm a PEDALPHILE. I'm super into bicycling. So that's a no go on the job now, huh?"""

"Just wrote a musical composition about pedophiles... ""Dick"" in A minor"