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Joke of the Day

"What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do!"

"A beautiful lady once asked me what I like in a woman. I got six months for indecent exposure."

"What does a math teacher say when they leave? calc-U-LATER"

"Don't blame me for your issues. Your seat on the crazy train was reserved long before you met me."

"What does a 60 year old woman have between her breasts that a 20 year old woman doesn't? Her belly button."

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

"[Lies on resume about having gone to preschool] Boss: You're hired. Your first task is to make me a macaroni picture. Me: *eyes widen* what"

"Have decided Twitter is like a good grandma. Makes dirty jokes, complains a lot, corrects your grammar, tells you who has died."

"How does a hacker speak with bread? He uses wheat speak."

"Is your ass the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty? Cause your booty is disarming"