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Joke of the Day

"[police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a light grey Me: ... My dog: if that helps"

"A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he says to the man running the stand... ..HEY! (pom pom pom) Got any grapes?"

"The first time I took a Viagra it got stuck in my throat I had a stiff neck for 2 days"

"What's so dark about blonde jokes? They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb"

"[on a date with a caribou as a favor to my sister] me: so...did you like the movie? caribou: *knocks over candy display & tramples 3 kids*"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anthony ! Anthony who ! Anthony you want !"

"A man in the car beside me had his arm out the window and I was admiring his sleeve tattoo until I realized it was only excessive arm hair"

"5 out of 4 people don't get jokes about fractions."

"I like my wine how I like my women 15 years old and locked in a basement"

"(Xpost Antijokes) Check yourself before you wreck yourself... ...with dick cancer. Happy Movember. http://us.movember.com/mens-health/"