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Joke of the Day

"""No. Delete it."" -Mona Lisa"

"Some women are never satisfied. Last night i gave my girlfriend the biggest orgasm of her life. What did she do, spit it out."

"I saw Jesus trending and my heart dropped. My first thought was 'damn you 2016!' but then i realized it was just his birthday."

"What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas."

"I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson."

"Who lost the American Presidential Debate? America."

"How does a secret agent have sex? He does it undercover!"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You only need one nail to hang the picture."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey... 12 years old and mixed up with coke."

"An Atheist, a Vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar I only know that because they told everyone all about it within 2 minutes... and again..and again."