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Joke of the Day

"My computer is frozen. Unfortunately it looks like moving my mouse around in circles did absolutely nothing to fix the problem."

"What reads and lives in an apple ? A bookworm !"

"I've grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine."

"Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire Earth Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet? Pupil: Well Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net I'm in my element."

"My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking."

"There was a young couple having sex in the pool. I walked up to the lifeguard and said, ""Aren't you going to do anything?"" He said, ""I might have a wank if you leave me alone."""

"forrest gump (1994): this film gave me very unrealistic expectations of what my life would be like as a huge idiot. 2/10"

"Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark."

"What does Snoop Dogg eat? Beets by Dre."

"[META] banned phrase suggestion Can we get an auto removal / deletion on any joke that has ""sorry"" at the end? Nothing kills a joke for me like having someone apologize for it."