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Joke of the Day

"Asked my girlfriend Shanon to tell me which fast food restaurant best describes my dick. She said Chick-fil-A, which was pretty clever, but the correct answer was Wendy's."

"[First person to ride a horse] 'I'm going to sit on that thing and I don't care how angry it gets.'"

"What is the difference between Elliot Rodgers and Malaysia Airlines? Malaysia Airlines only has been shot down once."

"I never thought I'd buy into Feng Shui. But oh how the tables have turned."

"Why do you never see any gay Egyptian Sailors? Because they're all in de Nile."

"How can you tell if a Redditor is a female? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I always thought a shih tzu was... a zoo without animals."

"Who burns their own city down? The people of Ferguson."

"Watching the olympics women beach volleyball first round... There's already been a wrist injury, but I should be ok by tomorrow."

"What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest? Alien vs. Predator"