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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I sit on my hand till it's numb so it feels like someone else is googling my name"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a voluptuous lobster? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean. :D edit: funnier when said aloud"

"What do you call immigrants to Sweden? Artificial Swedeners"

"Seeing the leaves change in autumn always reminds me of my Grandpa. He died falling out of a tree too."

"Bikini season is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the Mexican restaurant."

"Hey baby, You know how I know I'm getting laid tonight? I'm stronger than you."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You stop milking a cow after 10 years"

"The hole in the boat So two guys steal a boat and get drunk. Kane of them goes ""Hey, there is a hole in this boat"". The other says ""don't worry it's not ours""."

"What did God say to the inventor of the didlo? ""If you build it, they will cum."""

"[First Date] Me: ""I'm sorry. It's just that I've been burned before."" *Stuffs handful of fries through visor in hazmat suit *Closes visor"