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Joke of the Day

"My son curses like I make love. He has no idea how to do it and someone usually yells at him and tells him to stop before he's finished."

"What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore? I wouldn't shoot heroin."

"The Socratic method of deductive reasoning walks into a bar and the bartender says ""So. What don't you want?"""

"YOU: Please be aware-- ME: I'm not. I never will be. I've never even SEEN a ""ware"""

"What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military? Yes, but you won't see it any time soon."

"A new chef from India was fired a week after starting the job. He keep favoring curry."

"Sorry I always spell your name Brain, guys named Brain."

"What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !"

"You need to log on to the window repair website! I did - but it gave me a pane!"

"It's not what man can create it's what man can become."