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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid I didn't want to imagine my parents having sex, so I'd watch them from the wardrobe."

"If you speak too slowly, my brain completes your sentences in all kinds of ways that make you interesting for a moment."

"I can smell shit, but I can't find it."

"My phone died doing what it loves: dying."

"I dont care or think about the people in my past... there is some reason why they didn't make it to my future!"

"What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? A Klondike"

"best joke When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, ""Do I have to drink it"

"Not proof-reading ruins lives A husband wrote the following to his wife: ""I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."""

"Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along? Because they have no chemistry"

"Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know..."