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Joke of the Day

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

"Gmail replaced the words on its buttons with symbols Which is great for all the illiterate people who use gmail"

"Country Music Album My friends don't seem to be enjoying my attempt at a Country Music album. It bothers them that the song about Germany runs straight into the song about Poland."

"What did the memory say to the processor? If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!"

"I don't like drug tests... They're not my cup of pee."

"New warning label: Quitting cigarettes significantly increases the amount of money you will have for pot."

"A Mexican Magician Performs a Trick He tells the audience he can disappear into thin air on the count of three. He says ""uno""... ""dos""... *poof* He disappeared without a ""tres""."

"let us remember today the most important immigrant refugee in all of history. that's right i'm talking about waldo from where's waldo"

"There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife."

"Poor Luigi when his parents were all, ""This is Mario, we also call him 'Super Mario'. And this Luigi, we also call him 'Player 2'."