201650

Joke of the Day

"There is no greater stress than the stress of a guy who forgot his phone & left it at home with his wife."

"(nsfw) How do you know the female bartender is mad at you? There's a string in your bloody Mary"

"Charles Dickens' book on wine making, Grape Expectations."

"Hi Africa, it's America. A guy over here just ate 69 hotdogs in 10 minutes! How's everything going with you?"

"Thinking about getting a liver piercing. Gotta stay extreme."

"Woman : All men are dogs. Me : Which breed is your dad, bitch?"

"To say Nirvana wasn't the most influential early 90s band would be... A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial..."

"I had a race with an Asian today It was a Thai"

"What's addicting? The sound an erection makes when it hits a cymbal."

"I give it 6 months before Banksy does a graffiti of the statue of liberty with the snapchat dogface filter on it"