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Joke of the Day

"He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans."

"During an appointment, a doctor tells his patient, ""You have got to stop masturbating!"" The patient gets concerned and asks, ""Why? Is it affecting my health?"" ""No! I'm just trying to examine you!"""

"How did the potato get back from the party? It booked a Tuber."

"Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? To the retail store!"

"If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again."

"What's the bro-iest airport in the US? LAX"

"The leading cause of being cryptic is stuff."

"I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive, ""Hi""."

"What does a retired Olympic sprinter have in common with Bernie Sanders? He quit running."

"You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower."