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Joke of the Day

"He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans."

"Blue Elephant How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? Choke it until it becomes blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun."

"How do you tell a chemist no? Nitrogen Monoxide"

"What's the difference between a corn shucker with epilepsy and a whore with diarrhea? The corn shucker shucks between fits..."

"What's the similarity between video games and roulette? Very fun until it goes Russian."

"What function do the bumps on a nipple serve? Its brail for, ""Suck This."""

"The Christians are really taking the Dugger family scandal hard I drove by a Chick-fil-A and the flags were at half-staff..."

"What do you call a armless, legless man in water? Bob."

"A prostitute said she would do anything for $10... Guess who just got their car washed!"

"I almost got a job with Sony but the interview was cancelled"