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Joke of the Day

"I apologize for those affected, but at the same time I couldn't resist. I may have sinned. Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims; 110 stories in less than 10 seconds."

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"What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast? You can make soldiers out of toast!"
"All Russian babies are born inside slightly larger babies."
"If you are getting a prostate exam... You're getting ANALysed!!!"
"Diet, Day 14: I hate everyone. My children are scared of me & I've repelled everyone else. But I'm starting to really like pears."
"TIL there are a lot of #1 rules for being a prostitute"
"If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive They would eventually find me attractive"
"A psychiatrist diagnosed me with kleptomania. Now I'm taking things for it."
"[trust fall exercise at work] CW: *closes eyes, falls, hits floor* OUCH! WTF?! YOU DIDN'T CATCH ME! M: Sorry, I thought it was optional."
"whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, ""oh, this is the one u were talking about"" &watch the awkward stares!"