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Joke of the Day

"You had me at ""Bathes regularly""."

"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? With a pencil..."

"If you could eliminate one entire race off of the face of the planet, which would you choose? the 5k fun run, or the 100 meter dash?"

"My grandma got breast cancer and is getting a mastectomy. That's certainly a weight off her chest."

"Text from mom: How's my baby girl? Me: I'm moving back in. Mom: Your room is ready. Me: No, your uterus! Mom: Steph you drink too much"

"Can someone help me, I can't remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?"

"What is a Mexican bodybuilder's favorite supplement? Guey protein."

"[Flight Attendant]: Would you like some headphones? [Passenger]: Yes please, but how'd you know my name was Phones?"

"How come Peter Pan keeps on flying? Because he Neverlands"

"About 90% of people do not know the opposite of these words... Always Coming From Take Me Down"