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Joke of the Day

"What's the most frighting thing you can read in braille? Do not touch."

"In terms of sausages... Hitler was the wurst."

"Me and my bed are in a committed relationship, I think my alarm clock is just jealous of our love."

"Man found dead midway through masturbating Cause of death? A stroke"

"The REAL 5 second rule? If you can get to it before the dog, it's yours."

"[in ambulance] ""Can you describe the snake that bit you?"" Yes it was like an angry rope"

"How do police know that princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders under the steering wheel."

"Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times"

"There was a spider in my bathtub so I got a tissue and very carefully burned the house down."

"""Son, you were adopted."" ""What, really?"" I said. ""Yes, they're coming to pick you up in an hour"""