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Joke of the Day

"A zombie walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""Get a life."""

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"Trump wins the election"
"Great news for the Texas Rangers baseball players Now that Ron Washington is no longer the manager, they are putting coke back in the vending machines"
"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? How the hell did they get inside a light bulb?"
"Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end I loved it."
"A vegan invited my friends and I to a vegan restaurant.... the food really lettuce down."
"Some nights I just lie down and stare up at the stars and I wonder what happened to my roof"
"What kind of bee can never be understood? A mumble-bee."
"I imagine colonoscopies are accompanied by the theme music from the underground level of Super Mario Bros."
"What do you call a fat computer A dell"