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Joke of the Day

"If I had a nickel for every racist thing I've ever said I'd have a small loan of a million dollars."

"A lot of people seem to like these pirate jokes... ...but I'm just not hooked."

"""You are terrible at metaphors."" ""Wow. Jealousy is a bad moustache on you."""

"I got thirsty on the ride to the carnival But the punch line was impossible to find."

"Why did hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill. It was over nein thousand."

"I just saw a guy with a mustache exactly like my grandpa's. I doubt it was his though; grandpa never let anyone borrow his mustache."

"What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait ? His portrait only need one nail"

"What do nearsighted gynecologists and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"[dad accidentally steps on the dog] I'm sorry girl, I didn't see you. Are you ok? [dad accidentally steps on me] Why are you on the floor?!"

"(Breaks car window to save a dog) Guy: I'm in the car! Me: Yeah but it's hot Him: The AC is on! Me: Can I get in? It's really hot out here."