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Joke of the Day

"The ""I got your nose"" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she'll call security."

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"What do you call pasta in a poor neighborhood? Spaghetto"
"Dear un-followers, I feel sorry for you... Your timeline will no longer be sexy. Sincerely, me"
"Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band."
"What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine...."
"What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car? I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU"
"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds."
"I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk."
"U.S announces ""Biggest boom in terrorism since 9/11"". ... The prophets are going through the roof."
"All Women want is a Guy that makes them laugh- And from what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious"