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Joke of the Day
"""I'm a diamond in the rough."" ""That's a whole lot of rough."""
Next Joke
"I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t."
"I used to have a job crushing cans in a soft drink factory all day. It was soda pressing."
"The best part of dating a homeless girl is You can drop her off anywhere."
"How do you catch a rare rabbit? Unique up on it"
"Are curses real? of course the f*cking are... (thanks dad)"
"I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite."
"Too many kids crying. I'm never having kids.I'm just gonna adopt an adult who has a job already."
"What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus? A stand up driver."
"There's 3 kinds of people in this world people who can count, and people who can't count"