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Joke of the Day

"Marijuana should've been legalized at the same time as same sex-marriage no, really, so I can stop seeing this fucking joke"

"You can't put a price on slippery lemons."

"If Donald trump and Hilary Clinton both go down on a ship who survives? America that's a no brainer"

"A man goes into a shop to buy flowers for his wife. he then fucks the cashier and gets a divorce"

"you know why Santa sack is so big? because he only comes once a year"

"The Socratic method of deductive reasoning walks into a bar and the bartender says ""So. What don't you want?"""

"LPT: Be thorough with everything you do and you'll struggle not to succeed!"

"[dad accidentally steps on the dog] I'm sorry girl, I didn't see you. Are you ok? [dad accidentally steps on me] Why are you on the floor?!"

"Today someone told me that they run into things a lot So I told them that they should walk more"

"A Vietnamese person gets a haircut A Vietnamese person walks into a Barbershop and sits down. The barber asks ""What' chu want fam?"" The Vietnamese person replies, ""How do you know my name?"""