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Joke of the Day

"I heard that sadomasochistic vegans like to get beet and artichoked. Some even like getting pead on. Don't turnip your nose at this."

"How many cis-gender white males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. And it would be his privilege to help out."

"What did the robot hit-man say to his robot victim? ""Nothing personal."""

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar The bartender asks him if he'd like a drink. Descartes replies ""I think not"" and vanishes."

"(OC) What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper? Hello, I'm here to Peru-se your inventory."

"What is Forrest Gump's favorite type of pasta? Penne"

"What do you call 32 white people locked in a closet? A captive Cherokee."

"I met a 14 year old girl on the internet... She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?"

"I lost my virginity last week But it's fine. Turns out it was just between the couch cushions."

"People from the UK have been exercising more. They've lost a few pounds."