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Joke of the Day

"Wife: I heard you have a new secretary today? Husband:Yes. Wife:Is she smart? Husband:Yes. Wife:Is she pretty? Husband:Yes. Wife:How did she dress today? Husband:Very quickly."

"The Irish have announced they've sent a peace keeping force to Ukraine. They've managed to secure the city of Chernobyl without any resistance!"

"I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook."

"So two fish are in a tank... One fish turns to the other fish and says ""Alright, you drive. I'll man the gun!"" Get it? Because they're in a *tank*."

"Wanna join my feminist group? We usually are outside for hours arguing over who get the hold the door open for everyone."

"The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for Chuck Norris."

"What is a guy with ED favorite saying? I'm going to PUMP YOU UP!"

"Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed? Because he sleeps on a waterbed !"

"What is a Jew's least favorite animal ? A dolphin"

"Did you know? If you took a man's small intestine and stretched it all the way out from end to end, you would go to jail."